Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Has anyone been spanked by their parents after becoming an adult?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Why do people smoke?

I can read

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I caught my neighbor leaving his 12-year-old son home alone and he has not come back in 6 hours. Should I call CPS?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have a reading level above third grade

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Do any members of BTS have significant others in real life? If so, why do they choose not to discuss it publicly?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

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I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t buy bullshit

What do you remember that 95% of us have forgotten?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

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I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

How mentally ill are Republicans who think Trump is mentally sane? He literally said immigrants eat pets.

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Can you tell me a depressing story?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t cotton to rapists

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I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Does eating bread before bed make you fat? If so, why?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Canadians went out of their way to help Americans stranded in Canada after 9.11.2001. Why did Canadians help so much the way they did? We read that Canadians don't particularly like Americans to begin with.

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

What does it mean when I have a dream where my friend died? I had this dream last night where one of my friends died in a shootout and I woke up crying.

I see through liars

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I can count

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I actually pay taxes

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write